By Nyariay Kic
What has age got to do with experience? Pain knows no age bracket, and neither does Joy. A man could unexpectedly be orphaned, and so could a boy.
A man could be promoted at work, and a boy could be elected in the school’s prefectural body. A woman could be overlooked by her society and dimmed less, and so could a girl! A woman could become a mother; a girl could be left to babysit her younger siblings: all profound. We all go through some unexplainable circumstances, good or not, these seasons trail with valuable lessons. This brings me to the same question again, “what has age got to do with experience?” Or even emotional dilemmas?
Ranking experience with age is just not realistic. Delving deeper, experience cannot simply be considered on subtle grounds of gender, race, status, or even duration of circumstance. What has this topic got to do with you and me? Believing in this hypothesis of slicing age on experience is exactly the point at which many of us divert from reality. A parent once had a conversation with his child during his visitation day at school. The conversation was fair enough, as the parent was going through the child’s report and asking why some subjects were performed better than others. As they almost concluded while the warning bell rang for parents to head back home, the parent grabbed his wallet. “Well, James, this is your pocket money.” “Before the due date (which was probably after a month), I don’t want to hear any excuses; you don’t know anything about money.”
Just like any other ordinary parent, this father forgot that this is the same James whom he had told not to call and ask for anything until the end of the month. So how could James know nothing about money, yet he is to sustain himself with that amount for the period that was assigned to him? What does this mean? Well, if only could James tell him how hard it is to survive for the month on that amount. The bullying he gets from his friends from richer families, how he sometimes reduced on his daily meals just to constantly survive, or even how he would go against his own wishes of wanting to purchase a few items in the school’s canteen that seemed quite expensive. However, James talking about all these grim experiences he went through was pointless. After all, he has never been to the office, or knows how the money is made: “what does he even know about money?”
I personally acknowledge and appreciate all the parents out there with their unwavering efforts towards bringing up the child. However, this could be a chance to reflect back on how you regard experience on another level especially when it comes to your child or the child. If there’s any human dealing with much under this same sky, then it is a child. The child who has to align with the parents’ teachings and expectations no matter the circumstances. The child who, regardless is required to explain every move even when some things just seem unexplainable and ambivalent. The one who is facing both growth and the lessons it brings on the same ride. The one who is trying too hard to fit in with the odd society unveils. Maybe we should stop judging this child, especially because they are simply younger. I witnessed children running away from home, some even commit suicide, while others give up on life and give in to harmful addictions. This is simply because they feel misunderstood and less valued. By merely understanding a child on the level of what they are going through or have experienced, could perhaps be the path to avoid such devastation.
A better understanding of each one’s circumstance based on what they go or have gone through is vital for not only exposing the subject to a sense of love and self-confidence but also for a peaceful coexistence on a societal level. I believe a just society is a home fostered by a homogeneous people, yet with a profound understanding of those around them. Why they would act that way? What could such a thing impact on them? Or how best could it be presented to them? Thoughts that we should consider while engaging. South Sudan is a home to 64 tribes, each co existing even under the ongoing tribal tensions, perhaps a better understanding of each other, the experiences that shape us, could bring birth to a society that is not only co existing but also one that is just to all for the profound peace we hope to see!